{L}Ameliaaaaaaa.

:(

2010-06-04T03:28:00.002+08:00

Hi girl! I know it have been long since I blogged here.
No matter how long I disappear from this blog,
it doesn't mean you disappeared from my heart.
Girl, no one is too busy to miss you, trust me.

19th March 2009.
I can't forget this date, really.
Many a times I asked everyone around me, why do the good die young?
Why did you left us so quickly?
I've known you for 3 years.. Supposedly 4 years...
We have always said "life sucks" but do we really wanna leave?
Girl I cannot bear you to go but why is life so unfair?

Many have told me to take this as an experience in life.
Everything happens for a reason.
Why must this experience and lesson cost your life?
I cannot let go of this truth you know.. All I can do is just think and think.
This experience is just too costly for me to handle.

A few moments ago I was thinking, imagining the pain you had to go thru.
Just before your death. The pain...
Were you just about to give up? Did you tell yourself to be persistent?
When your heartbeat was saved.. Did you know?
When it was gone, did you feel that the pain was gone?
Did the pain stop when everything ended? Did you hear us?
If you could, did you want us to stop crying?
Did you just give up? Why did you?
Why did your heart have to stop a second time?

All of us feels guilty. We miss you so much.
Why didn't we have the last chance to redeem ourselves?
If you hadn't left, we wouldn't know the meaning of friendship.
But must it take your precious life to let us realise we've been bitches?
Girl, we love you.
We love you.
God loves you.

Lastly. I love you.

With so so so so much love and guilt,
Angela.

love

2010-03-12T00:39:00.002+08:00

Amelia, I just looked through your pictures that I've saved long ago.
You're still so real in my mind, really.
I haven't forgotten you and I've never planned to.
I really want to spend time with you.
Like how we used to be like.
I just cannot imagine how you are like beside me or how I can get to see you tomorrow in school... I really can't imagine but I still think about you all the time.

With loves,
Angela.

Hello dear Qi

2010-02-28T09:49:00.002+08:00

Our Dear Qi

Have not forgotten you..... how could we??????

Always for you....

@-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->--

You are still in our hearts. Many young ones departed last yr ... we shared the pain as their loved ones as well.

Love you and miss you
your mum, pa, di and friends,
cousins, aunts and uncles and relatives.
me and paul
X O X O X O

Gonna be a year soon.

2009-12-20T16:11:00.004+08:00

We two look abit cute right! I miss sec1 and 2 life with you, Amelia!

Amelia, I've visited your mother and father yesterday with Beehan, Terence and my boyfriend. Your mother misses you lots and all of us miss you too. Your mother still keep those straw hearts that you've made and she don't bear to throw it away. You also have a lot of neoprints in a small wallet, Beehan and I took a few of the neoprints and took one of the straw heart.

You were my best friend, you're still my best friend right?

With love, Angela.

I miss you.

Di's birthday

2009-12-13T20:52:00.002+08:00

Our dear dear Qi,

For you @-->--

Today we celebrate your di's birthday on your behalf. Earlier than actual day. We knew you always do that for him. So we doing it on your behalf.

Your pa was around and of course your beloved mum. Grace and grandma were there too. 526 aunt was present and of course, your di's friend came later.

We still ached dearly for you. Still.... when will this ache go away ???

Love you and miss you
Your mum, pa, di, cousins,
grandma, aunts, uncles, friends
relatives, me and paul
X O X O

angela.

2009-11-19T01:18:00.001+08:00

Happy 15th birthday. From everyone out there.
We miss you so dearly.

With love, angela.

Happy birthday to you dear...

2009-11-18T22:07:00.002+08:00

Our dear Qi, Amelia,

Happy birthday to you dear......
this is the day you came into our lives and became part of us.

For you @-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->--
@-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->--
@-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->--

Love you and miss you always,
Mum, Pa and di, aunts, uncles,
cousins, relatives, friends,
me and paul
X O X O

Dear dear Qi

2009-10-31T21:06:00.001+08:00

Our dear Qi

For you always..... @->->- @->->-

Visited your mum and di and pa last sun.

Not that i have forgotten you.... how could i !!!!! It was painful to drop by. Miss you a lot.....

Still love you and miss you
Your mum, pa and di
cousins, friends, relatives
me and paul
X O X O

still missing you...........

2009-09-21T09:08:00.002+08:00

Our dear Qi

For you dear dear Qi..... @-->--

We still missing you dear............... still.

Finally, went to visit your mum and di. Your pa was at work, didnt see him.
Let Benson know how to access your blog.

Love you and miss you,
Mum, pa and di,
aunts, uncles, cousins,
friends, relatives
me and paul
X O X O

P.S
Angela, thanks for new posting
in Amelia's blog. Take care.

I miss you.

2009-09-11T02:47:00.002+08:00

Girl, so many things have happened.
After you're gone, it took everyone quite awhile to continue their normal lives. As you know, people move on after months/week/years. Still, somehow, you never fail to come back into my mind.. To remind me about the memories we shared. Although people move on, but you I want you to know that you are never forgotten. Never will be.

I miss you so much, you've been a part of my life, you'll always be.

With love,
Angela.

Hello Qi

2009-08-10T09:18:00.002+08:00

Our dear Qi

We always remember you...... can't forget.

For you dear @->->--

Every time i thought of you, i remember the 14 yr old girl from bedok reservoir and what happened to her. We felt the same as the parents.

We really miss you and i am still asking God why ?????

Miss you and love you,
Your mum, pa, di and
friends, cousins, relatives
aunts, uncles, me and paul
X O X O

Dear dear qi...

2009-07-11T21:40:00.003+08:00

Our dear Qi

For you always @->->--

Last sun your mum sms me asking how i was. That nice of her. I called her instead. She's ok. Your 'yi ma' has been her support during these time.

On chinese newspaper this tues, a gir, 14 yrs old, from bedok reservoir fell ill with fever and back pain on friday afternoon after school and passes on suddenly on saturday evening after vomit and slipped into coma and breathed her last. I can feel the same saddness of her parents. I sms your mum about it that she not alone going through what had happened.

I can't help being sensitive to such news. And again a young boy, 17 passed on after being hurt n in coma in taekwando competition. How heartbroken the parents are. We are able to empathize the trauma.

We miss you and still love you dear Qi.

Love and miss you
Your mum, pa, di and
cousins, friends, aunts, uncles
me and paul
X O X O

Our dear qiqi

2009-06-23T22:15:00.004+08:00

Dear Qi

For you dear qiqi.....@->->-

You are always remembered in our hearts, our dear qiqi...Prefer you still writing your blog not me doing it.

Saw your di msg in the tag and your dear friend, Angela counting the days since march. I know it been v hard for those close to you and now without you being around here. It painful and teary. I am with them and understand it. It must been v hard for your mum esp and your di and your pa too.

We still miss and love you and will always do. Jesus.. do you know our pain ???

Miss and love you
your mum, pa, di and
friends, cousins, relatives
me and paul
X O X O

many pple miss you.....

2009-06-09T22:20:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi

For you, our dear girl.... @-->--

You never missed our mind and heart. We still miss you day after day. Still talk to Jesus about you. And I know that Jesus loves you more than we do.

Your mum misses you, your dad misses you, your di misses you, your friends like Angela, Bee Han, Li Ying and Jian Wei and many others i do not know miss you. Joanne and ' ku ma's and your mum's relatives, cousins miss you and paul and me miss you too.

The book i read ' a divine releveation of Heaven' by mary baxter mentioned Heaven is a beautiful place where heavenly music flows all the time and people there are of full joyand loved by God Father. Relatives can recognize one another no matter how long they were separated from earth when they get there with their guardian angels.

I sms your mum last week asking her to take care and i will try to find time to visit her and your di.

Love you,
your mum, dad, di
cousin and paul
X O X O

Hello qiqi

2009-05-31T22:32:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi

For you dear.... @-->--

Miss you.... by all of us here.

Saw last week news on papers about a NS young man passed on suddenly after feeling unwell. He was only 19 years old. We empathised how the parents felt.... heart-brokeness and pain of the loss of child. We went through this ourshelves.

We still love you like before... not lesser but more instead. You are our darling.... you know.

Miss and love you,
your mum, papa and di
your friends and relatives, cousins
cousin and paul
X O X O

Your family

2009-05-24T21:50:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi,

I am back again and a @-->-- for dear you....

Today youngest 'ku ma' came to visit my dad and she shared with me that your mum put on weight when she went over to blk 526 to collect dumplings from eldest ' ku ma'. And she told me about your dad too. He is still the same him. Jesus knows what I meant. Your dad needs a lot of prayers. I felt hurt about him and will pray that Jesus gives him more wisdom.

I have not seen your mum quite a while and will find time to visit her. Will care for your mum and di for you...... so dont worry.... you just be happy with Jesus. Really miss you.....you know.

God Father shows me that He indeed understands our grief just as He sent His son, Jesus to die on the cross for us. He went through the pain when Jesus was hung on the cross.

Love you always
your mum, dad and di,
your 'ku ma's and many others
cousin and paul

Miss you qi...

2009-05-18T21:57:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi

@-->-- for you dear qiqi. That's what i always call you....qiqi

Miss you... think of you with each passing day. You are not just my cousin but more than that.....you know.

Sms hui ling jie jie about the pastor's visit to your dad last wed... she said your papa didn't talk much and was quiet. They prayed over the home. I guessed for peace and God's healing in the house. They invited your pa to church last sun but your pa didn't make it. They will talk to your pa again when available.

Really miss you... miss you calling me 'ah mei jie jie' in your sms to me and many others still miss you too.

Please wait for us patiently that we will meet again. Jesus will wipe away all our tears and restores our togetherness.

Miss and love you
your mum, papa and di and many others
cousin and paul
X X

Think of you daily

2009-05-11T22:09:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi

Not forgetting a @-->-- for you.

You have been on our minds always dear Qi... you know.

I talked to God Father and Jesus about you almost daily. Asking God why He took you so soon. I just got to know you better since last Nov and you've been part of my life. Care for you and your future too. Then suddenly God took you Home.

I told God it has been very painful for us and i asked Him if He knows our grief. It really hurts. It has been very hard for us and your friends who loves you too.

I know you are well in Heaven with Jesus and loved by Him. I look forward to the day we will meet again at the gates of glory.

Love you
your mum, dad and di
cousin and paul

Miss you.....

2009-05-05T21:51:00.004+08:00

Dear Qi

For you @-->--

Miss you.... so i visit your blog.

You know last thursday the pastor visited your mum and di. Your dad was at work. Something wonderful happened that nite..... Jesus knew what it was. Heaven and angels rejoiced over it. Still need a lot of prayers over it to keep it safe.

You are alive in Heaven with many others who are in Christ. You are not dead... only in the body. We all die in the body one day but our souls head to some where depending on what or who we believe.

Some time i asked God to let us have you back but i knew it not possible on earth. I prayed and asked God why and what His purposes why He took you Home so soon. I do not want to have any presumptions of my own but would like to hear from God.

I really miss you and so are many others like Angela, Bee Han, Jian Wei and of course your mum, dad, benson and your other cousins too.

Love you
on behalf of your mum, dad and di
cousin and paul

PS/ Angela here and I helped you to beautify the rose (:
It has colour now! :)

girl, imy

2009-05-03T03:39:00.002+08:00

Amelia, every once in a while, I recieve calls... Friends of ours called me up and asked me," I heard about Amelia, what happened?" It hurts whenever this question came. I don't know how to answer them.

We had friends of our own.. Friends that only both of us knew. Friends that we used to meet up often to go out. We had sleepovers, staying up late, telling each other secrets and stuffs. Sometimes I'll even cry and you always gave me your shoulder to lean on. That's what friends are for. We went to the Zoo together, you tagged along with my family. We have had countless of fun. I promise you noone can ever replace that ever. Noone.

Remember those times, we went to the beach. We talked about 'Big specs'. On christmas eve, we went to Orchard. You, me and our friends. 4 of us, slacked throughout the night. So sorry that I have the mentality that when you had a boyfriend you'll forget about me but I was so wrong. In my chat logs, so many a times you talked to me in MSN but i didn't reply you. I was so engrossed with blogging and/or mapling.

You know every now and then, I'll call your phone, hoping I'd hear your voice again. Once I called through your phone and someone answered. I stoned for 10 seconds and realized it was your mother. Stupidly, I told her that I called the wrong number. Haha, it was dumb isn't it.

Miss you ever so much.
With loves,
Me, Beehan and your friends and families. (:

Hello Qi

2009-05-02T22:27:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi

@-->-- for you. Have not forgotten you. You are always on our minds.

Hui ling jie jie and her pastor visited your mum on thurs nite and hope she is comforted with their ministering. I have not spoken to your mum yet. Will try to call her some time later.

I passed a book and the 'our daily bread' message dated 8 june 09 to your dad to encourage him. And will try to arrange for pastor to drop by again to visit your mum and dad together.

Always miss you most on weekends because you often come to my place and i really enjoyed you being around though I can't 'pei' you at meals time cos i have to be at my dad's hse most time.

You are now grown up and mature in Jesus now.... according to another book by Mary Baxer ' a divine revealation of Angels' which i got recently that said children are grown up and mature when they are brought to Heaven by angels. Whatever it is.... you are always our dear Qiqi.... our Amelia.

Love you
on behalf of
your mum, papa and benson
cousin and paul

Hello dear Qi

2009-04-27T21:01:00.003+08:00

Dear Qi

For you @-->--

Spoke to your dad last week and been trying to arrange for pastor to drop by to support and counsel your mum and dad this period. I can tell that your dad wanted to be help and your mum was open when i asked her if she wanted counsel from church even though she is a non believer.
Talked to your dad again today and tried to confirm that church will still come to visit your mum if your dad not available the evening we first arranged.

Ask my dad's therapist to pray for the visit too that God will do something for your parents and your di too. Do you know we still miss you a lot lot lot..... God Father loves you more than we do here...... He does what He has to do..... He also knows our pain and hurt when He took you.

I try to read 'our daily bread' message dated june 8 to remind me God's sovereighty. That message was rather similar to what happened to you and how your parents felt. And that girl in the message was also same age as you. You must be well with God in heaven now.

You know....maybe some people will call me 'xiao' why you with Jesus when the funneral conducted is taoist ritual..... it doesn't matter they called me crazy for i know the true living God's words prevails.....maybe they will know some time later.

Miss you and love you
on behalf of,
your mum, dad and di (benson)
cousin

God answers

2009-04-22T20:42:00.006+08:00

Dear Qi

For you always @-->--

As i mentioned earlier that i been praying and asking God why had happened..... and today God confirmed again to me through the new 'Our daily bread' on date 8 of June. In fact, God had shown me earlier in Psalm 139:16 but i wasn't that sure until 2 weeks later today He confirmed it.

In my own thinking, Jesus probably had told you why it happened and the purposes. Whatever His purposes, we will still meet again one day and there will be such joy and happiness with Jesus in Heaven. Only that will encourage me and paul and your dad and others too. Paul said you were like our child.... yes indeed, i had looked upon you like mine. I had also shared with your dad what God has shown me today. I guessed he felt consoled too.

Miss you
cousin

P.S
Dear Angela,
Please feel free to write in Amelia's blog. It would be nice that you write too. Thanks.

your parents

2009-04-19T21:22:00.003+08:00

Dear Qi

Always for you..... @-->--

Hui ling jie jie has talked to her church pastor and they will come and visit your parents and your di soon..... with comforting words to help them this painful period.

I prayed and asked God why had happened? why? why?

I know some time you feel 'hollow' lacking of fatherly concern. God knows that too and so does your angel... you know every time you missed school and wondered alone around the neighbourhood .... your angel which God sends was with you.
I was also concerned when you wondered alone, that why i tried to keep you at my place on days you dont feel like going school.

Please wait paitently for us until God calls us Home....

Love you and miss you
cousin

Sms your mum...

2009-04-16T21:47:00.002+08:00

Dear Qi

For you my dear Qi..... @-->--

This evening i sms your mum when suddenly i felt i should sms her and ask how she is.
Dont worry dear Qi......................i will see that she is ok so with God's help that she can reunited with you next time. She afterall your mum.

As i felt the pain when thinking of you so i asked your mum if she likes someone to support her emotionally at this time in counselling that she will be less painful. Glad your mum agreeded.

You know... hui ling jie jie... she will arrange someone from her church to counsel your mum and your di (brother) and maybe your dad at this time to help them this difficult period. It will do them good for they will be comforted.

Though you not here...but you live in our hearts and now with Jesus in Heaven. We'll meet one day again. So may God's purposes be done on earth as in Heaven.

Love you
your cousin

Hello dear....

2009-04-14T21:23:00.009+08:00

Dear Qi

Always a @-->-- for you.

Did you notice Angela drop by to say she misses you? You are fondly missed by many many people. We all love you, you know.

I want to thank you for giving me the respect when you were at my place. You always sms me asking if you can play laptop even though i was at my dad's place or do your maths later or if you can go to shop.

You were a good girl though you don't like school and skipped school some time. And you also texted me some time in the morning to ask if you can dont go school for that day.
I accepted your 'sorry' on your blog on your last friday with us when i told you earlier i was upset when you missed school.

God gave you to us for 14 years and took you away later in His time. Your absence from earth are not without God's purposes for which I pray He will reveal to us in time to come.
Jesus says we can talk to Him about you.... how we miss you for He understands our human pain and hurt when He was on earth more than 2000 years ago. Yes.... I've been confiding to Him to release my pain to Him time and time again.

You are well with Jesus and loved by God Father in Heaven. How i wished He had taken you Home later.

Love you
cousin

Hello Qi...

2009-04-12T10:22:00.004+08:00

Dear Qi

For my dear Qi........@-->--

Whenever Paul and me thought of you, Jesus always encourages us that He is with you in the midst of His glorious Heaven where there are no tears but joy and happiness in Him.
I am encouraged that one day we will meet again even though the rites they did was different but the true living God's Word prevails....... that all children whether black or white go to Him for He loves all children of the world.

Together with some believers we have been praying that by God's help, your dad will change for he was away from Him for long time. And God's Holy spirit to heal your parents, brother, Jian wei and us..... also those who love you of our pain and wound.

Dear Qi.... we all love you a lot lot lot.....

Love you
cousin

Thank you to your friends

2009-04-08T12:19:00.005+08:00

Dear Qiqi,

For you.... @-->--

Thank you for your friends like Angela and Bee Han and of course others too.............. Angela, many thanks for showing Amelia how to blog.

I am reading a book about Heaven, a divine relevation of Heaven written by an american paster, Mary Baxter whom Jesus showed how Heaven is like. It beautiful beyond our imagination and description where there are flowers, birds, greenery and horses and of course, Jesus and lots of angels. I am glad to learn that you will be happy and full of joy there and you are loved by God the Father. It said you are not lonely there for you will know everyone there. You will know one of our cousin there too who passed on when she was just 9 years more than 20 years ago and our 3rd uncle who left when he was 13 years. God Father says He loves all children in the world. You are still a child in God's eyes. And He loves you!!

I bought the book 10 years ago... didn't expect i am reading again for your sake.... to know that you are well in Jesus' care. Thank you... Jesus.

Love you,
cousin

Hello :D

2009-04-07T16:35:00.004+08:00

Every day, I'd look at my phone. Thinking that you would sms me. Can't accept the fact that you're not here to message me. Not there to webcam with me in the middle of the night. Every morning, I have the habit to text you, to tell you to meet me, to slack with me.

I still remember you created this blog for me. I asked you to blog, I taught you what to blog. Though you said that you didn't have time and computer but I still ask you to. I really didn't regret asking you to blog, gives me memories whenever I come :)

Been missing you alot. Everywhere we went before, gives me so much memories. Hope you're happy wherever you are right now. I really hope you are. I know you are independent, like always. You can go shopping alone... Do homeworks alone... I miss you girl.

With much loves,
Angela.

Still thinking of...........

2009-04-06T22:17:00.002+08:00

Dear Qiqi,

Another rose for you........... @-->--

I am still thinking of you..........
Do you know you are my favourite cousin? Took care of you when you were a baby while your mum was busy. You are more than a cousin to me......Taught you how to read the ' peter and jane' ladybird book. Carried you home from the nanny's house when your mum worked late. And many many sweet memories of you..........

Love you,
cousin

Where you are now.....

2009-04-04T09:04:00.005+08:00

Dear Qiqi,

A @-->-- for you.

Do you know how glad me and paul are to know where exactly you are now........... that you are in Heaven with Jesus and His glory and care. I shall tell your dad the good news too lest he worries about you.

In God Word ( the Holy Bible):

Matt 18.10
Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say in Heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.

Matt 18.14
Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

Aren't you the little ones ??? Yes!!!!! You are still a child at the tender of 14 yrs plus and that your guardian angel always look to Heaven where God is.

We may know not exactly what God's plan for what had happened .............but He has His purposes for His ways are higher than our ways and so are His thoughts than our thoughts. So may His will be done on earth as in Heaven.

My dad's therapist who is also a believer has also confirmed me that you were Jesus by His merciful grace after i've been praying to God since the day He took you.

So.... then we shall meet at the gates of Heaven when God call us Home..... here on earth we still miss you, your giggles when you told me your brother called to say he missed you when you were here at my place some time ago.

Love you
your cousin and paul

Roses for you ......

2009-04-02T22:07:00.003+08:00

Dear Qiqi,

Here are some roses for you. Hope you like them.

@-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->-- @-->--

@-->-- @-->-- @-->- @-->-- @-->--

Not a day pass without thinking of you........... for you were part of our lives.

Love you.
All of us

To keep her blog alive

2009-03-31T21:08:00.004+08:00

I am writing to keep her blog alive............ as she rests in peace but memories of her live on.

On Your Father

Did you know that your dad wept at the hospital that day??? And he cried again when eldest aunt brought him dinner on sunday, a day after that saturday.

He told me he was touched by your small loving gestures when you got him small gifts like ashtray and cake. He does love you a lot more than what you thought. Being a quiet man, he doesn't express himself through his actions. He thought, like any father, by providing for you that shows that he loves you!!!

He was heart broken by your absence and he hopes to meet you again in Jesus even though he was away from God for very long time. So rest in peace and in Jesus.

Love you,

your cousin

stop asking

2009-03-23T17:06:00.002+08:00

1, Dear's wake already over .. it's 2 days ago time

2, She died by her illness , Hyperthyroidism

3, Too much passerby, kindly enter your username

actually today going back to Bishan there, put the picture on the urn

unfortunately, it closed at 5pm

benson message me

afraid might late, so i didn't went

April 15, i'm going back there... visit her , every month 15

so far as i know, Amelia got alot friends

but , please do take turn to visit.. don't come in a bunch

even though i don't have the right to say

i don't wish dear, and other urn(s) to be disturbed

love you , my dear !

2009-03-22T16:12:00.002+08:00

This msg is to Jian Wei ~
We know that you like Amelia very much..
There is no point inflating hurt on yourself, you have to move on. Amelia will not be pleased to see you like this. She would definately want you to be happy and most importantly to
move on....

There is no age limit towards studying. hmm...
I bet Amelia's biggest wish would be that you are responsible towards your studies.
Though you may not hear it from her, she would be happy if you are able do it for her.

take care

2009-03-22T14:59:00.002+08:00

First of all, thanks to all friends & teachers who attended the wake. Let's pray & wish Amelia that she will/would be happier up there....

I have some advice for ALL Amelia's friends ~
- In this incident, I hope all of you learnt and realised this word "RESPONSIBLE'. Though this word may sound simple, forgettable, small and meaningless, it could actually save a life. Every act has its consequence. Every hurting words or acts does affect a person badly. Spare a thought for other people feelings. It is not a difficult task to do~

Things already happened so please don't re-proached yourself and move on.
I urged all of you to be responsible towards your studies, families, friends and the people around you. I may sound real naggy but i do hope you know and understand this word ‘书有黄金屋’

I feel that this phrase* 'I DON'T KNOW' is a very irresponsible word. Nothing in the world is "DON'T KNOW~" It's whether you want or don't want and all about communications.

Lastly, I sincerely hope that everyone of you continue to study hard, pass your test & examinations with flying colors :D

My condolences

2009-03-20T13:41:00.008+08:00

Angela here, I'm posting this for Amelia .
Girl, do you know how many people went to your wake? :)

Our class, 3F, most of them came and they were all malays.
Can you imagine I called MissTanChengYing, MissClara and Miss Ong also :)
Biggest surprise of all, Miss Amy Ng also came. Miss Ong cried alot .
Charlotte, beehan, roubing, dionis, leo, yongjun came also .
And I also heard that Miss clarissa lim is coming today with miss cynthia oh.
Claudia, terence, willy, robin will be going too .

May you be happy with the angels.

I miss you I really do, Amelia. Just one more day. Wake up would you.
Wake up please .

20th March
Amelia, Miss Cynthia Oh and Miss Clarissa Lim came to your wake you know. We miss you so badly. Miss Tan and Miss Amy Ng came again just to make sure your mother is alright. The principal and Vice principal also came in the morning. Robin couldn't make it. Roubing is also feeling guilty. Simon, willy and the rest apologized for those insultive remarks before. You know they never meant what they said though yes it's a little too late .

Uncle, Willy, Terence, Yongjun, Charlotte, Dionis, Roubing, Claudia, Ulrika, Huihui and Simon came to your wake. Everyone's asking about you. Wake up once and tell us you're okay, you're fine and just one last farewell. I have so much to tell you girl. You left too quickly. Everyone misses you. Though it's too late, but if you woke up just once more, you'll know how much you mean to everyone.. but .....

Your family needs you and they are apologizing, for not sending you into the hospital on time. hy didn't you say bye ..... Your last text to me was " never go out? " How can I go out if you're gone .. Tell me .

I'll update about tomorrow after everything is over.. Hope you're fine up there waching us. Rest in peace. :( .

21st March
Babe, I went over to Terence's house and stay over. Slept for 20 minutes and I cried while thinking of you at exactly 7am. I cried, I told Roubing, just 3 more hours, Amelia would be gone. How am I suppose to accept this fact girl, tell me. Took a last glance at you.. I really miss you ..

Miss Clara came, Miss Ng wasn't able to make it. But guess who came.. Your good friend from primary school, Jocelyn! :D
I tried to contact her yesterday to inform her and to ask her to your wake. She came. You know, Miss Tan was being an ass. She woke up late and she took a cab. The driver went wrongly and he drove to TPY then she couldn't rush to the bus on time and she went to Mandai. She was right beside our bus, we were looking at her.

( The rest, I won't be describing. I can't find the right words to say. )

Jian wei, I won't be talking you into your sense anymore. Since you won't even listen. You made her sad before in Real life and now you want her to worry and cry for you when she's wanting to go peacefully? Think about it.

Please don't tag, R.I.P my dear

2009-03-19T12:35:00.003+08:00

please don't tag if you are pity her

first time , i saw you at bedok mcdonald

you came up to me with a big round eyes.. and we walked to 200+ sit

dear, do you remember what i said?

my only girl , one and only , our relationship start at 150109

you said you wanted to walk the path with me

you said want to marry me

you said want to have family with me

i know you wanted couple ring eagerly

sorry dear, i will earn money by doing job

get job , get money.. buy couple ring for you

i guess, it's totally meaningless

dear, you said you will walk the path with me, but you stop and lost at today , 190309

just a short short 2 months of relationship with you, i really really does know what is love , what i care for

150109 thursday stead , 190309 thursday end

I SAID THAT , WAKE UP ! BUT YOU DIDN'T REPLY ME ! WHY

why why why

why you want leave me just like this

alone in this world?

dear, i promise you , my death promise , i don't care i'm bachelor forever, you my only girl as always

why don't i notice your actions ?

your last kiss is 2 days ago , 170309

i promise you , every months of 19th i will come and visit you

tell you about my life , how am i going

only if you could come back , i promise i don't wanna be lazy anymore , i will work

do you know ? your dad really loves you

even though you dislike him, but not hate him

dear, have you notice me? i've been in the CGH whole day , from 3am+ holding your hand till 6am+

why can't you wake up and hold me tightly again?

you know how many tears i'd shed to you , while you're sleeping?

I SAID , YOU CAN'T JUST GO BY TODAY .. BUT YOU JUST DID..

i miss your hug , your warmth , your kiss , your hand , your arm , your waist

you kept saying i love your body, but actually what i love most is your heart that truly love me

WHERE'S OUR 3RD MONTH ? 4TH MONTH? 5THMONTH ? 6TH MONTH?.........

YOU LIED TO ME, WHY YOU WENT SO FAST, I SAY SLOWLY WALK , BUT YOU END UP COULDN'T FIND YOUR EXIT

i guess it's my fault to begin with

i shouldn't ask you go rest yesterday afternoon

i called you yesterday, you talked to me..

but when around 9pm+

benson called me ask me come

i reached there.. sit awhile.. ambulance people go into your house

firstly i thought it was fine, but when they move you to the bed,

i was .. worried

i was wondering if you looked at me?

i hope you does

your face turn pale , very pale

your families , me and my parents , beehan , jinxiang , angela , came to see you

you teach me alot alot stuffs

and i appreciate

i was holding your hand with faith ,asking you wake up

i even sang , say alot past stuffs ..

i got alot alot words to tell you , i want to work .. i want buy you couple ring that you always wanted

i want to buy you bear ,

whenever i remembers your actions, i was happy, but when recall you with pale face, lieing in CGH without moving

i cried , cried deeply

my one and only girl , i don't want to get marriage with other girls , i only want you

after everything done , i will look for a job, get the stuffs you wanted

i just want hear your voice once more , can i?

beloved dear dear Jianwei <3 Amelia 150109 , end at 190309

2009-03-15T02:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY
2ND
MONTH

written by J

2009-03-13T20:58:00.001+08:00

Ponned schl.
Then went to meet dear.
The actually want go school then v miss dear.
Jiu never go luhs.
Slack slack slack.
Buy canned soup.
Dear cooked for me.
NIce, cause is canned soup.
Hahahhahahaha.

Joannes, sorry cant meet you then raining.
Mum, sorry blame me of lossing your wallet and all that bahrs.
Dear, Sorry for givving you attidue.
Cousin, Sorry for skipping schl.
JUST A BIG BIG SORRY!

Angela asked me tonned.
Then never cause tired.
Then come Dear 's house eat.
Usual, maggie mee with egg.
Is nice althought is simple

Happy march holiday.
enjoy.

2009-03-10T11:56:00.000+08:00

Midnight Dear came to meet me.
Then we went to 506 then 85 then 101 thr.
Then dear ride me home.
I went up bath tot dear can ride me to schl.
Then he cant.
He found out that he wallet lost/
Is like FUCK!
Aiyohrs.
I cant contact him then no mood.
Went to hougang.
Tamp.
Then his house.
Whatthefuck is he sleeping.
Nehmind his wakeup sure kanna scold by me.
Hahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahahhah.
Now at library.
Phone no batt!!!!
Dear, WAKEUP!!

I LOVE DOMO KUN.

2009-03-09T06:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.
Didnt meet Dear.
Is like very sian, you know?
I really miss you.
Then morning called mac.
Eat all that.
Then went to meet Guang.
Smoke, he is genorous.
They keep talking about their school th thing.
Machiam i know like that.
Erms, somehow dontknow why she like botak?
Having same blogskins with dear.
Is really cute.
haha.

I LOVE DOMO KUN.

2009-03-09T01:25:00.000+08:00

Domo and his dad.(:

Went to school.

2009-03-06T13:56:00.000+08:00

Mother bring me to schl.
Chinese.
Math
MS jean yap is CU TEEEEE!
hahah
Then recess.
D n T.
Was fun.
Damn relax.
THanks Xuanxin for th pop.

My Class, Tuesday 24 febuary. timming wrng.

2009-02-24T13:30:00.000+08:00

I edited myself(:

Quote from Roubing's Blog.

2009-02-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.
Webcam with Dear again.
Haa.
Then erms,
Is tired liaos.
I dontwant let dear sleep until my battery is flat.
Then ask dear to watch me sleep.
I afraid of the thing.
Really.

Then dream aboout a thing.
Is damn real and,
damn real jiu dui liaos.
Stella send me a pic that take with dear.
Th pic was very clear.
And th background of th pic is th background of stella bedroom.
Then supect luhs.
Suspect of dear liaos.
Then ask stella whether they got do anything anot.
Stella say yahs.
Then cant find Dear.
Went in to kitchen to find mum and tell her.
She giveme money and i went to study my course.
After course.
Dear waied outside. Saying sorry to me.
I ignored hhim.
Then i decided to ask him.
Wtf, he say he didnt mean it!!
Didnt forgive him.
Then break without thinking.
*Is just a Dream, it wn happened it in real life. Right?

I hope it woudnt happened.
Ha,
Dear bathed lers.
Coming Yew t.
Then actually want to come in to cousin house.
Then cousin say dontwant, cause she wasnt at home.
Then 2pm going to do my chinese nt math.
I tell you, i've been stress by math.
MATH sucks.
But i love Mrs Yap.

Yesterday.
Paul went down to pick us.
Cousin thanks him for pickking us.
They were really a sweet married couple.
Cousin sure love Paul very much de.
Paul, this type of caring man Extinct liao.
Ha,
He really nice to cousin.

2009-02-23T14:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.
Dear's sis dontwant let Dear use comp.
Then leave me alone in Msn.
Then Angela didnt sleep.
Webcam her.
Then her comp was lack.
Then she dontknow go where.
Then watch finish my show.
Dear went sleep.
Then i went sleep too.
1 something wakeup, eat.
Webcam with dear.
Do math, then went down buy things.
Cost me 11 dollar.
Whatthehell!
THen came up eat.
Later gg CCK.
Buy history and ss book.
Then gg to eat dinner.
I think,
Tmr cant online. Cause need study history.
I ...... want to pass history.

Ask Regene for beauty school de thing.
Then not bad.
No N level or O level cert.
Got beauty Dipolma cert.
Finish course jiu go work.
Really not bad.
Had to ask mum and cousi.
But is really not bad.
Somemore i have more intersted in beauty than school.

I hate RaymondLing and LooZiHui.

2009-02-22T16:39:00.000+08:00

Webcam with Dear(:

I really hate Raymond and Zihui.
Fuck up,
Called raymond and scold about his stead.

MSN all day.
Later eating dinner alone, Who wanna pei me?
Webcam with Dear and Marc.
They cute lars.
(:
Updated later, Now no mood.

Edited
Was msn and webcam with Dear all day.
Really nothing to do uhs. Ahiyahs.
I do math and Msn all day.
I was about to do math the msn.
But no mood, So Msn first.
Cousin coming back so last min do my math.
Got many blanks blanks.
Actually gg cck.
But Lazy.
Then bathed, Webcam with dear.
Sleep first.
GoodNight.
(:

2009-02-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

Wake up.
Eat.
Watch tv.
Eat.
Later meeting mum and dear.

Doesnt seem to be alright.

2009-02-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

Near hairstyle.
New hairstyle.

Didnt went to school, Was tired of detention all that.
Dear went to cut hair.
Today no key go in.
Take frm aunt but cant open.
Wait Benson back .
Bathed, meet Dear.
Tke bus to Woodland then take mrt to yew t.
Then eat, shop, slack.
Go home.
Dontknow how was Dear.
Worried like hell.
Hp no batt, never contact me, havent go home.
WORRY WORRY!

2009-02-16T17:31:00.000+08:00

Valentines.

Today ponned school then went to inter and eat.

Waited for Dear for long.

Then he finally came.

Take 168 to woodland.

Eat.

Take 901 to woodgrove sec,

waited for GRACE!

She with a bunch of girls.

Then went to causeway agn.

Take 962 to Grace's housee.

SCHOOL IS BORING!

2009-02-13T10:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday Paul went perth.
How i wish i was thr.
Then Ah mei jie jie ask me like schl mah?
I said no,
She want me take course.
Bakery all that.
But idk what i want take.
There so many option.
But i tot option chooose me nt i choose option?
Maybe take erms, i also dontknow lehs.
Then erms.
Ytd ahma went into hospital.
Then late lers still go see ahma.
Then she okays.
Dont worry.
I lazy to typw thing.

Later maybe going back to sleep bahs.
Then all that.
SIAN.
Life is so boring.
Erms,
No i mean schl is so boring

2009-02-08T16:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday actually wanna to go to Angela's house.
But my mum called dear mum.
Then they stayed me.
And they drive me to Sembawang mac.
Then my mother and Dear's mother chat about our relationship.
Said the Cants and Cans.
They read Dear's blog lers.
So they know where i am all that.
Then They let me have relationship.
Woahhhhhhh.
Not bad lars.
Today wake up go 406 eat all that.
Then Changed.
Come out to Amk.
Now Nauh-ed at Amkhub de lan.
Cheebye siahl.
The boy beide me played audi.
Open so loud nehmind.
Still sing sibeh loud with his frenw lars.
Then not nice.
__
Cheebye lars.

2009-02-07T18:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday sleep here,
Later maybe going home.
Is your force me de hor!

MIA-ING!

I had many days i didnt went to school.

2009-02-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday.
Actually want to go to Vivo City.
Then still little not feeling well.
So ask Dear to come my house here slack.
Didnt wen to school.
Then Father find out.
He supper angry luhs.
Kanna beaten up by him
Then i supper fectup also.
Went down to wait for Dear.
THen nuah-ed at 554.
Then went to find Dear.
Then Go carpark find my di.
Then went to Sing Song.
Buy potato chips, drink, Otah and cat de food.
Then went to 532 to eat.
Saw le wei.
Finding cat to feed.
Finally found one.
Then walked to 526 nuah-ed.
Saw Eric and di.
They went to pick up eugene.
THEN FORGET LIAOS.
I know i got MANY MANY THEn!

Today.
Didnt went to school.
Yesterday night alrdy asked Dear to come Fetch me to school.
Then in the end i didnt go schl.
He waited for me at downstair for quite long.
My Di Ponned school with me.
Then slacked at 526.
Tke bus to bedok inter.
went to KFC.
Eat.
Then went Sing Song then polyclinic.
Di see docotor.
Then zai go KFC eat lunch.
Take bus to Dear house.
Pllay laptop allll that.

Later maybe going MIA!

Cause never go parent meeting.
So SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Dont tell my parent where i am.

Upload-ed Picture.

2009-01-30T11:10:00.000+08:00

Doris, Cousin, Grace and Amelia.
Jiajia.
MeiQi And Qiqi.

QiQi and Ahhao, Sweet couple.

New Years pic.

Finally can upload pic.

Dear wasnt replying.

Ahwei wasnt so heartless.

Later maybe sleeping or going out to shop.

2009-01-29T16:35:00.000+08:00

The very first thing i do in the morning is ponned schl.
Then call Dear.
Nauh at bedok.
Then chat with a uncle.
Then tke bus to tamp.
then then then then....................................
Erms meet Dear.
Then went to three hundered plus.
Nuah at there.
There went to bedok.
Go wait for benson and Yankai at Yuneng outside.
Went home.
Nuah at home.
then went out to tamp to eat sushi.
Then went up to dear hose.(:

2009-01-28T22:53:00.000+08:00

Today didnt went to schl.
Slack at Bedok.
Then smsed ahwei.
Ask him help me buy cigg.
Then went edu meet him
Then walk to bedok res blk 628.
Then meet cousins.
Then cabbed to Eastcoast.
Was like calling Dear for a long time!
Then from Area C cabbed to Area E.
To find AH BEE!
Ha.
Cabbed here Cabbed there.
Rich right?
Haa.
Then it was really that sian!
Then walk back to Area c.
Then rent double bike and cousin rent bades. (:
Then Cousins were DAMN mafan luhs.
Then let me wait under the sun.
Fcuk.
Then bring them to th safty place.
Then brother and me ride to area E.
Then find ah bee talktalk smke smke.
Then ride back to refund everything.
Then play sea water luhs.
Then Qiqi drop to the water.
Ha. I knw i got many many THEN!
Erms tke cab to my house.
Qi bath.
I Bathe.
Erms nuah awhile.
Then went to meet dear at 109 thr.
Then Walk to my house.
Nobody in.
Nuah with dear.
Then. then......
Went dwn cause mum cming back.
aft awhile, i went up to do things.
Then cme dwn awhile cause upstair having war.
Then went up.
Erms, Then bring cousin to tke bus.
then went mac to buy things.
Walked hme.
Kanna scold out loud by mum in public.
Sibeh Lame lars.
Then went to uncle house eat.
Then abt 10 go home.
Then bathe .
FUCK!
I got sunburn!
Over my leg, arms, body, face!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Then cant really contact Dear.
Cause he never reply.
Then went to edu.
To LAN LAN LAN!
(L)

Always saw Sex partner this two word in his blog!
AHHHHH.
ha, must chear up cause is CNY.

Reply to Tagg

WANQYAN
Haiyohrs, You which wanqyan? Wang hong sister or?... Anything bahrs(:

NATALYA
HELLOS, I miss you so muchhhh. Free time go out shopshop(:

Sk.
Hellos, Di! Iloveyou too!

2009-01-18T15:20:00.001+08:00

After posting went to his blog to see th past.
Well.
I saw this?
Idk lars.
Okays?
Shld i let go?
Is like nt before th day we stead okays?
Is th time we alrdy stead?
Well, my heart is damn pain.
I cant take it lers.
Everything must wait till you wake.
What is this world going on?

Yesterday.
Talk with Dear at midnight.
Actually wanna talk to him until tmr.
Then suddenly my card no mney so cant call in.
Dear, Sorry.
Sad.
Went to sleep.
Morning wakeup.
Ask mum help me top up.
Then was like waiting for his call.
Went online.
But he said he 24 hour online de.
But he offline.
Dear, Are you alright?
Are you okays?
All you still sleeping?
Sorry to make you worry.
Okays?
I'm sorry.
Call me can?
I need you!
Then wasnt in th mood today.
Cant smke,
Cant listen to Dear voise.
Why is it like that?
I hate this alright?
Then go down eat.
No mood to eat.
No mood to shop.
Went home and wait.
No mood.
Every thing no mood.
Maybe he changed?
MOODLESS.

2009-01-18T00:53:00.000+08:00

Today.
Wake up.
Went dwn to eat breakfast.
Then come back home to change.
Went down to meet beehan.
Then,
Buy cigg.
Then go home.
went to Amk.
Then tke bus to sing ming rd.
Then they was like alrdy there.
Then pai pai all that.
Then they burn all those thing.
House, Car, servant.
I was like crying with Grace.
Reallly crying again.
Then went home.
Go buy mac eat.
Filet-o-Fish.
Then they never give the fries.
then called to complain.
Then they send here.
Currently at Cousin's house.

Boyf!
I really love you.
Ytd the thing i wnt forget, kays?
I will like really thing abt it de.
And give you th answer.
And you today sound wierd kays?

2009-01-16T12:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was our day.
All those thing that you suspect.
Is you suspect.
As in me, I wnt do all those thing.
Today sibeh swuay siahl.
Never go schl.
Father knw.
Then Kanna beat by him like hell.
Not pain at all, kays?
Was trainning.
Ha,
Seriously not pain luhs.
My brother was fine.
Cause he was like avoiding him.
Hidding himself under th bed.
Suah.
I was at th fault too.
Then he say tmr muz go schl.
Then tmr is sat want me go schl?
Ehs, pleasee lars!
You go yourself lars.
Who will at schl entertain you siahl?
Then ltr going town to meet Joannes.
Cant meet boyf lers.
Maybe go town then buy studd bahrs,

Boyf, I promise i will love you till th day.
I will.
So dont worry.
Kays?

2009-01-14T10:38:00.000+08:00

Yeserday
Didnt sleep the whole night.
Then went down to buy things to eat.
Come back home.
Beehan message .
Bathe.
Then went to her house downstair to meet her.
Then walk to singsong.
Wna buy black haispray.
It cost me 11.30=a dye,
Then meet beehan and jx.
Then went to schl.
Ytd was my first day of school.
Is like many things happened.
Fatin came back to shl, only sec2?
2A was seperate.
I am register 2?
Ms ong was my form tcher?
Mdm yao was my chem tcher?
My class was last year 2B's class?
AndAnd.
I was still in th holiday mood now?
Wateva.

Today

Happy Birthday To Joey.

Happy birthday to you.
Although now we are in the different class.
But You still my frenw, kays?
One year older lers.
You wil recieve a belated birthday present frm me.
Love you.

Today didnt went to schl.
Then was kanna found out buy mother's frenw?
Fuck.
Cheebye siahl.
Then 12 then can go home.
LOLS.
Was reading Jianwei's blog just now.
Erms, Why he mention so many charbor's name?
He played?
But faitful?
Idk what he mean okays?
Well, maybe idk too.
Why you havent wake up yet?
I need to ask you many things.
You knw?

2009-01-11T12:46:00.000+08:00

Today going home.
Was revise my math just now.
So later going woodland take bus.
Ken called me just now.
But jianwei didnt reply my msg.
Kind of sad.
Was thinking of him(:
Love him luhs.
:D
Was talking with leeying just now.
Found out that leeying is my best listener.
Luv her too.
Update next time(:

All this are Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday pic.

2009-01-11T00:59:00.000+08:00

Ytd night didnt sleep at all.
Then was like not that tired lars.
So i was revising my math.
Ten they wake up.
Bathbath.
Went down to tke cab to marine parade.
Mama paid those bills.
Then went to eat.
Bo dai bo ji walk walk jiu fall down.
Hais, Every time like that):
Used to it liao.
Can?
Then jiu went to parkway parade.
Saw baggy but she not buying or me.
Then went to take shuttle bus to bedok.
Went to inter.
Chasing for bus.
Then Beehan call me.
I reply so i cant get th chance to hop on the bus.
Then.
Had to wait luhs.
Sleep in bs like a pig.
Reach wooodland.
Take mrt to Yew t.
Buy thing to eat.
Go to my cousin house.
Then bath jiu on aircorn.
Sleep.
10.30 wakeup eat dinner.
Then play laptoop till now!
Then was watching Twilight hal way.
Edward cullen is so beautiful.
Now going watch :D

2009-01-05T11:35:00.000+08:00

Change url lers.
Somehow I love th name Ahkei better.
Haahs.
Today going home.
Not going school today.
Feel like quitting school man.
Continue bahrs.
Reach sec3 lers.
Arbor jiu waste 2years of secondary life.
Can stand until where jiu stand until where.
Hopefully can graduate from secondary.
I long time never smoke lers okays?
All those coughing lars.
Because of never smoke for long.
Later maybe meeting Joanne.
Also not sure luhs.
Sian dey.
Also noting to do.
Then BORED.
Hais.
Hais.
I want Cigg man.
Went to woodland bought tognue piercing needle.
And studd.
Went to the toilet to pierce.
Actually cant pierce de.
i use a grat force to push the stud then jiu go in liaos.
Happy man.
Then went home.
Tot come back bedok jiu hui you cigg.
In the end donthave.
Beehan went home.
Then go home rest awhile,
Come edu play.
Tmr going to school!
Who going with me?
But not studying.
Go meet principle.
Then later still have to dye back my hair colour.
I cant bear it siahl.
Nehmind next holiday then dye.

2009-01-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

Whooots.
Finally change to navigator.
Had been stress here luhs.
Keep do math.
And the question is a 'stranger' to me.
Nehmind, Then i copy the answer.
Heck care liaos.
Then sms-ed Joannes.
Wanted to meet her at CCK.
But i was too late.
So she went to her boyf house first.
Then actually wanna meet at jurong point.
While waiting.I went to meet Girlfriend(Jason) and Terry.
Then she said she unable to meet me.
Then go take ID photo with him.
Take lers jiu dontknow walk arnd Jurong point for dontknow how many rounds.
All thanks to my beloved Girlfriend lars!
Tired like hell.
Go back to the shop take photo.
He dontwant let me see!
-.-
Sad.
Then go home.
Go shop alone better.
Got he as a stead ahs.
Confirm die!
Then bought things.
Jiu take mrt home.
Reach home do math again.
S-T-R-E-S-S.
Tmr maybe meetin Joanne.
Hope can meet her luhs.
Tmr not going to school.
Cause got camp.
Tuesday not going to school cause got hospital appointment.
Shuang daoooooo~~

2009-01-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday
Is like everyday th shifu need to come and talktalk.
Is getting boring.
Everyday wait for xiaokit to come(:
I was missing you. in thh
Went to grandma house to sleep cause no space.

Today
Early in th morning 7a.m wakeup.
IS SCHL DAY!
But not going to schl.
Is th last day of th funeral.
I feel like going schl.
Take cabbe to funeral.
Eataeat.
Wait for everyone to come.
Is really sahd.
Shifu ask us to gather and he start praying.
Aft that, we was walking arnd th coffin.
I starting to burst into tears.
Bt i keep into my heart.
After walking in rounds.
I cant hold my tears.
And start crying,
Cousin saw and gave me tissue.
That time i was start thinking of th days i was in hospital with her.
Th coffin was moved out!
THE COFFIN WAS MOVED OUT!
AUNT! Wake up, will you?
Pushed th coffin's car to th road.
And was keep crying.
Grace cry with me.
Went up to bus.
Going mandai.
Went in Hall.
Shifu pray agian.
The last time we will be with her.
Th person lead us to VIEWING HAll.
I cry i cry.
We saw her with our eyes that she moved into th 'oven'.
Everyone was crying and calling her.
But i cry until spechless.
I almost faint.
Biaoge, Xinku lers.
Everyone almost know how you feel today althought you didnt show out.
JYJY!
After that everything was settle down.

2008-12-30T19:58:00.000+08:00

Lng time didnt blog lers.

Whooots.

Now at Aunt Songa.

Heng uncle bring laptop so can play.

Haa.

Idontknow what happened to our relationship.

Fuck this relationship can?

2008-12-24T13:54:00.001+08:00

My head kind of pain .

Yesterday i sleep but 2 am wakeup to learn my sci all that.

Its is really sucks.

MY HEAD PAIN LIKE HELL!

Ltr going out to ton with Bee.

Later maybe going home and sleep again.

I cant message!

My phonephone at grandma house.

Sian, has to ask kor to message him.

Bobian.

Then maybe waiting for my mum to come back before i go.

I need to sms man. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My head was really pain.

I need to sleep!

WHERE ARE YOU?

2008-12-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

Today went out with Bee, Yiying and kor. Then they came to sembawang to look for me. Tke mrt to doby, Then transfer train. Yiying was sleeping. And she get blur for where she is. Then it wasnt easy to wake her up. Then Went to vivo. Twight ticket was really selling fast. So we have to watch 'Yes man'. Well, is was quite funny. and touching. Then yiying sleep again. She throw away th popcron like' WHOOOPPTS' Haahs. Then after th show end. Went to harbourfront to walk. Then take 166 to amk. The bus was really really cold. We was like getting really crazy tooo. Finally reach lers. Yiying chiong to take mrt to safra. So does kor. Bee, pei me. Then we tke 25 home. Went he drop down. I keep thinking about home. Then chiong back home to sms bee.

I hope that the time wil stop when you hug me around your arms. That time i know how much you love me, how much you need me.

2008-12-20T16:02:00.000+08:00

I today going home. I think lots of people miss me in bedok(: Today finally can go home. But going to bring manymany things home. It always to be like this. (: AND AND AND, i need to smole siahl. Many many days didnt smoke lers. Going to miss NEXT ! Then long time didnt play Djmax lers. Today going to meet staniel to play his psp. Ytd 4 something then sleep. 1 smth wakeup. Sianzxzx. Then later 4.45 jiu must stop playing. Go bath jiu go home lers. Yeaps, I going back to my home. Baby boster, I miss you so much (:

Baby, I know that you care about me. Dont want me to get into trouble. All i know, i know. But you must trust me, i wnt. SABRINA, I am not going to hurt you or something. Since you had alrdy give up on him. But i wanna to tell you that My boyf are not to be shared!

2008-12-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

A hardworking girl then will do so many working(:

The view of My cousin house.

Today, Wakeup. The same things Happened to ytd. S.Beehan, Happy 8 month anivesray to you two(: last long. But is different. Annie Auntie dead. Is really really unbelievable.

Baby, Thanks for all the things you had done for me.
Aku cinta You.

2008-12-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

I can spend with the laptop for whole day.

All this tibits can make me fat.

My partner, Laptop:D

My panda eyes is getting deeper.

Well, 12 pm kanna wake up by my dear, mummy. Then Whoots is my brother birhday but cant get to celebbrate with him but i will get a belated birtday cake for him. Then EatEat. Do my math homework by my cousin. Then do finish i get to play laptop. Seven, i study my sci. Then waited for my cousin to come back. Went down to buy dinner. Nine reached home. 10.44 my cousin teach me math. This worst than class. Cant sleep. Eleven Play laptop. I always got th chance to mention my laptop. :D

Tomorrow.

P6 taking school result.

O's level result.

Twilight open in Cinema.

Beehan and Jinxiang eight month aniversary. Hope they will celebrate.

Grandma operation.

Mother n aunt take leave.

Quite alot of things happen than a normal day.

2008-12-16T16:42:00.000+08:00

the dntknw what song level 9 de. Not seeker. Break 6 only ehs.:D

Today kanna wake up by aunt. Ask we to go her house to eat. Then went to her house. Ate laksa. Then she keep ask us to eat something. Then wait for my father to come and bring us home. Then went home awhile. Transfer song to my MP3. Then come to edu.

Edited.

Take mrt to CCk. Is a

2008-12-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

Well, I wanna to watch this show as fast as i can.

Ytd didnt sleep for the whole day.

Because of BensonCheng.

He wanna to go lion dance then he want me to pei me go.

That why i cant sleep.

Then pei him go eat breadfast with staniel.

Then they pei me to take bus to inter.

Then take fourteen to tioongbahru.

Then reached there.

A man asked me.

Man:Xiao mei where is tiong bahru plaza?

Me:I not sure.

Man:Are you intersted to work on flyers?

Me:Erms, okays.

Man:Can you ask your boyf to help me too??

Me:I single.

MMan:Okays, Then you got how many ex?

Me:Idk.

Then keep ask abt Boyf thing.

Man:I give you some flyers you go give out. Is five dollar alright?

Me:Okays,

He give me flyers and five dollar.

Then Walked away.

He like WIERD!

Then Go to friend house.

Waited for him.

Go vivo.

Then walkedwalked.

Then take mrt go here go there.

Is like a retarded girl.

Then Tke mrt home.

Reached bedok.

Smoke then go find my mum.

Walk.

Then Buy things.

Then tke bus home.

Is two something.

I sleep until eight.

Wasnt surprize lars,
Then Grace and grandma came to my house.
Grace staying at my house,
Then I bring grace to edu to play comp.
:D

2008-12-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

Today went out with marc, peter and nara. To edu.
:D

2008-12-09T18:23:00.000+08:00

Polaroid Camera is cool.

Long time didnt blog lers.
Then is O-V-E-R.
Many things had changed lars.
I am lazy again.
Yeah,
Camp is coming.
School reopening,
Many things start anew.
Well, im trying to prepare everything.

2008-11-26T14:26:00.000+08:00

MOODLESS in process

2008-11-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

Today wasnt in th mood.
Quarrel with bee th whole day.

MOODLESS!==

2008-11-24T16:46:00.000+08:00

Today going home lers. Today feel like many things to say to do. But dontknow how im gonna to say, to do. Ltr go back bedok to meet S.beehan. Then at night meetig Bee. I hopee he wnt forget to call me. Im afraid. I dntknw why.

Today wakeup, Watch tv. Eateat then watch tv. Then play laptop. I also dntknw what to do siahl. Listen to song. Blog. Friendster. Msn. Still got what? Sian la. Holiday is so sian. Ltr bath packpack jiu go lers. BEDOK, I coming(:

Nothing to post lers.:D

Edited

Well, went to woodland to buy drinks. Then tke 168 hme. Then go buy dinner. Went hme to eat. Sms bee. Then Mum hme. I went dwn to edu:D

Tmr going to cck again:D To tke my charger.

2008-11-23T02:44:00.000+08:00

22nov.
Thanks Seenkang(Di), to pei me when i'm bored. He is th best person that would understand me. Ad th best person to entertain me when i'm sad. He somehow th best di i ever have. Althought i only have one! But he is good ok. Tht time nt becayse of him. I and Raymond de happiess is he gave de. But nw also no use les. I belong to others. Ahiyahs.

Then today went to bedok because bee ask me to meet hime there. Then I tke mrt to bedok. Is like damn far. Frm CCk to bedok. Wtf, is far lars. The reach bedok lers. Go buy hairband. Then go buy drinks. Tke bus to beehan house downstair. Meet Beehan. Tke umbrella to go meet Jx. Smkesmke. Smke finish went to my house to slack. Then slack until seven thirty like that. Then pei Beehan home. Then went to tke mrt back cck. Bee, Where're you? Then keep spamming bee handphone. Then he keep never answer.

Reach cousin's home. Eateat le jiu go bath. Bee. i miss you. Then play laptop. two something. Bee called me and said that he just wakeup. i tot what siahl. he sleeping nt avioding me. I became happy lers. Then talk with him awhile. He jiu went for movie. Then msg half way i jiu sleep le.

23nov.
Midnight i was sleeping then bee called me. Th first time there someone can wake me up. He asked me to get up to urine. Lame right? Haahs. Then i uhs uhs uhs. Like that then he asked me wakeup msg him. Then wakeup, th first call is my cousin. Then second call is my mother. My grandmaa ytd went hospitalised. She ytd night cant breath proberly. Then went to hospital. Actually dont want to visit her. Then suah go visit her then can go TPY meet Bee. Then tke mrt to TPY. heng got seat. Then can sit dwn relax. Reached lers TPY, tke thirty to Bee house. Called him to come down. Then i found out that th plastic bag i tke is th plastic bag for bra. Bee come down and asked me why siahl? Why you tke this plastic bag. Then i said how i know. Then asked him help me tke. He dntwant. Then Suah luhs. Help him tke to his house.

Then went out slack. But He forget to tke his cigg then go home tke again. Then went to slack until seven. Go tke bus to TPY inter. Bee, i will miss you de. Tke mrt to novena. Kanna scold by mother. Readers, No worry! My grandmaa is alright. Then went dw to eat dinner. Went up again, pei grandmaa awhile jiu go sq2 to see couple ring. I saw a couple ring damn nice. But 149! Wtf. Nehmind, I save ! Then go to Vilo city. To buy preasent for bee. I bought you my love:D. Then tke met back.

Stop at sembawang went to sunplaza play arcade. Benson, Sorry i forget you. Then tke mrt to cck. Reach cousin's home at ten twentyfive. Nice timming. Then jiu bath. Watch tv and play laptop. 01.09 lers.

Bee,

HappyBirthday to you.

Love you with my heart.

2008-11-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

Bee, I'm going to love you for sure.

I edited all this photo. Nice is nice but wate my time, bodoh! ahiyahs, is worth it de lars. So nice.

2008-11-22T13:10:00.000+08:00

2008-11-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

Found all this at web.

Today morning was at my cousin house. I was sleeping at my cousin house ytd. Then ytd was Paul's birthday. Then me and my brother made a card for him. Then th card like kindergarden made de. Haahs. Then he accept it. We was like so happy. Haahs. then didnt celebrate much. Then this year i didnt have my cake siahl. Walaus! Then siansian. Then afternoon, bring my brother back to home. Then dont need to go back to to ywee tee. My cousin dontwant me to run here run there. So stay at home. Then ltr still need to face my dad. Then Sian lars. Still need to come edu. I wish i will stay thr forever.

Baby, I miss you. is been four days lers. Didnt meet you so many days lers. Sooooooooooooooo miss you. Can you wake up of your dream and be with me?

2008-11-19T12:09:00.001+08:00

From the very Begining,
the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy.Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply,but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words.But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.One day, while the girl was on her way to work,she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice.Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

FROM:Love.Fate.Density.com

Should love be like this?
Will this true love happened on us?

2008-11-19T00:41:00.000+08:00

Back to th past. SimSim beehan edited.

2008-11-18T12:39:00.000+08:00

泪水将我淹没到底谁该难过究竟是谁放掉这段感情我才终于明白办不到的承诺就成了枷锁现实中幸福永远缺货请告诉她我不爱她笑着难过自我惩罚想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话别告诉她我还想她恨总比爱容易放下当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答我才终于明白办不到的承诺就成了枷锁现实中幸福永远缺货请告诉她我不爱她笑着难过自我惩罚想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话别告诉她我还想她恨总比爱容易放下当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答我不爱我不痛我不懂我的心早已掏空真心话言不由衷请告诉她我不爱她笑着难过自我惩罚想终止这一切挣扎横了心说真心谎话别告诉她我还想她恨总比爱容易放下当泪水堵住了胸口就让沉默代替所有回答别告诉她我还想她就让沉默代替所有回答

我还想她Lyrics.

Well, Today is my birthday. There only some peoplel wish me happy birthday. The important thing that i want is you to bring me out. Well, Is like today i will live on with my normal ife without you. I miss you. I rather run away with you then at home wait for your call. Is like waiting for nothing. Or

你在也不要我了?你知到我还想着你吗?Today is my birthday. I just wish you will call me and wish me a happy birthday. I dont need you to be by my side. Just a sentence, is it so difficult?If it is i dont have words to give out le.

Ltr going to my cousin house. Go cck to celebrate my birthday.My cousin and my Mother is the best womman in the world. Luv your. Then stay over night at my cousin house. So contact by phone. Will not going out again!

2008-11-17T12:59:00.000+08:00

I've been sick this few days lers. Cough and flu. Whatthehell. Who can help me siahl? Then i told bee that i sick. He doesnt seem to care. Then ask Leeying to help me edit my blog skins. Finally, My blog is Fresh lers. Is like the previous skins i used it for month(s) lers. Everyone will be sick and myself will be sick. Thanks to Chia Leeying. The only thing i dont like is the post backgrnd luhs. Nehmind, I just change th fronts colours jiu can.

Then I run-away frm home for like two days. This two days. I've been with bee. There many things happen within this two days. Im scare nw. Im really tired nw. I didnt sleep lers. Then while i was with bee. I was thinking of you.I dont know what happen. Maybe i just too tired bahrs. Shld be. Then went to bee house, ytd. To bath and changed. Then Bee send me home. I pei bee to wait for 225. Then he went to meet tobi to Interview. I just wish that tobi will get out of our life. Dontknw why. He like between of us.

Ltr meeting Bee. I miss him damn much. Going to Tpy.
Luv you!

2008-11-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Today was bored like hell lars! I wake up, went dwn to buy food. Then called Beehan. They went to my house. Slackslack then tke cab to pasiris park to see which BBQ pit to book. Then Book at pit 44. Area3. Can ton lers. Haahs. Then we walk dwn to to roads. Then saw a cab. Tke cab back to my house. Then we went to my house to slack. Sleepsleep. Play psp. Then went dwn to eateat. Then eat finish. Then went to nlk Fivetwofive to smkesmke. Then Went to buy drinks jiu go hme lers! Then waited for my brother at home. Then went to singsong to buy BBQ thing. And food. Tmr will br a exiciting days lers!WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS! HAAHS. i wish you to be my side. Really. I want you to be by my side. Tmr sur tke cab there.

2008-11-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

Today went out to watch tv. Watch th coffin. Is scarey want lars. nothing to postt. Byeb

2008-11-05T22:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to

♥MATHEW EU.

Althought somethime i really hate you.

But I want to wish you a happybirthday.

Loveyouzxzxzx.

Well, today is a happy day.

Really.

I pon-ed with benson and mathew.

Then we taked bus 197 to Jurong.

Then tke 335 frm jurong to chinese garden,

For swimming(:.

Well, Then i leave them and went to shoppe.

Haahs.

Loves them.

Then meet them.

Went to tke mrt luhs,

Mathew drop at kembagang.

We drop at bedok.

Tke bus hme.

Then cycle to Edupath.

Tot wil be seeying youzxzx* there.

But never.

Then saw staniel.

Called ahji to help me buy cigg.

Went with hime.

Then go hme smke luhs.

Then after awhile went to tke bus to kembagan.

Then meet Birthday boy.

Brng us to his uncle house.

Reach thr liaos.

Then my sliper drop in th drain siahl!

Then went in to room.

Watch tv.

birthdayboy oder pizza.

Pizza cme.

Eateat lers.

Jiu cake luhs.

First time i sing birthday song to ppl.

Because i lovezxzx you.

Then jiu went to busstop to tke bus.

Tke7.

To inter.

Walk hme.

Then walk by 517,

Saw him.

Im really happy dey.

Thhen end in edu.

2008-11-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

I cycle In th morning.
At 6am.
Cycle to tampiness stadium.
Then U-turn back headed to bedok.
Reach home at 7am.
Then went to collect thingy.

2008-11-03T17:27:00.000+08:00

Well today wakeup at three something.
Because ytd sleep at five.
Blog shopping with jocelynG.
Then wakeup lers my pillow, blanket and dolly at th floor.
Ha,
Again.
Th reason they were at th floor because.
I sleep until V. shuang.
Th aircorn damn cool while rainning outside.
So i wakeup lers.
Brush teeth&wash face.
Boil milo.
And eat sanwishes.
Went back to my room.
Watch tv.
Borrow laptop.
Then go and bath-ed.
Going home today.
I miss beehan, cigg, my bed, my baby, my hamster.
MISSES THEM.
But i meeting my mum at woodland.
Wanted to buy something.
Piercing needle bahr.
Then I bought three thing on blogshop.
A huge pink bandle.
A cartoon hoodie,
A fbts lime shorts.
They cost me thirty plus lars.
Then all need money.
I need money also.
Everyone is despo abt money.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Going to broke liaos lars.

2008-11-03T03:37:00.000+08:00

1. Besides your lips, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
-Cheeks

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
-Fectup,

3. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

4. How often do you see your ex?
Quite often.

5. Would you ever donate blood?
-Yes, if im healthy

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
-Yes

7. Do you want someone dead?
-No, who wants?

8. What does your last text message say?
-Who are you. I havent sleep yet.

9. What are you thinking about right now?
-My classmate when we were in primary6.

10. Do you wish someone was with you right now?
-Of course. My ex.

11. What time did you go to sleep last night?
-4am.

12. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
-I didnt buy it. I t belog to my cousin.

13. Is someone in your mind right now?

14. Have you ever been in a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex?
-No.

15. Who was the last person to call you? When ?
-Mother. 0134

16. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
-Maybe, maybe not.

17. What are you listening to right now?
-Loved to be love by you.
By marc terenzi

18. Did you sing at all today?
-Yahs, this song.

19. When's the last time you cried?
-Yesterday.

20. Who were you with yesterday?

21. Do you miss anyone?
-Yahs.

22. Have you ever drank with your number one?
-no bahrs.

23. If someone liked you right now would you want them to tell you?
-He already told me.

24. Do you want someone you can't have?
-No.

25. When did you last talk to your brother or sister?
0134

26. Where were you at 2:02 am this morning?
-Bedroom.

27. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
-Smsing

28. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
-No.

29. Do you want to tell someone something?
-Yes.

30. What do you want to tell him/her?
-I hate you for what you had done to me.
But i'll miss you.

2008-11-03T01:41:00.000+08:00

My world.

2008-11-02T23:38:00.000+08:00

Well, we didnt eat sushi.
First is many peepers.
Secod i'm full.
Then we went to eat MOF.
Eat th icecream llike whatthehell.
Then big lars.
Got tangyuan, mocha flvoured icecream, Valina flavoured icecream,
Redbean, Jelly.
I ant finish because there red bean.
I hate redbean.
Then jiu cant finish mahs.
We went off.
To buy bread for tmr morning.

Then went to shopshop.
Bored.
Rather blog shopping.
Morecheaap that th market prise.
Then is can dont move.
Bought a monkey at minitoons.
Damn happy.

Cabbed to Cousin house.
Then saw her.
Sayang her.

Take lift to house.
eateat.
Watch tv.
Bath, brush teeth.
Play laptop.

2008-11-02T16:23:00.001+08:00

Eating Sushi ltr.
So will be out at 6pm.

2008-11-02T16:23:00.000+08:00

Eating Sushi ltr.
So will be out at 6pm.

2008-11-02T13:12:00.000+08:00

Well, today didnt sleep well.
Because my cousin tell me everything that i need to do today.
Then She gave me fifteen dollar to eat lunch and dinner.
Then i sleep back.
But i coudnt.
I watch tv.
Then theycame back.
Put th phone beside me.

I wakeup.
Normal luhs.
Brush teeth.
Wash face.
Then boil milo.
Eat sandwishes.
While listening to Rollin stones song.
Pauel bring it out
Eat finish lers.
Play laptop.
Then my cousin went out.
Who can cme out too?

2008-11-01T19:58:00.000+08:00

Well, today went to find Weizhong at his house.

Take bus14.
Saw pohyng and her friend on th bus.
I miss her so much,
We talktalk.
I miss th talking.
Then she reached marine.
She drop.

I drop at tiongbahru plaza.
Then actually is go and find his comp.
Reach thr keep playing comp.
Shuang lars.
Then say wanted to visit his grandmother.
After that i slack at his house.
I watched 'mean girl',
Is nice.
I wantched it again althought i watched.
Is really nice.
Then watche finish lers.

We take mrt.

He take to bukit panjiang.
I take to yweetee.
To find my cousin and go to her huse and stay.

I reached there i called her.
Then she said she will be reaching in five min.
So i waited for her at taxi stand.
Sunddenly i miss izwan.

She came then,
She pulled me to NTUC.
We went to buy 'clean & clear' foame.
Then i bought Filet-o-Fish meal.
Then she help me to topup my phone.
Nut i dint bring here.
Sianzxzx lars.

Reached her house.
Then jiu eateat.
I bath.
Watch Tv.
Play laptop.
Then jiu end up in th room.

PS: Iloveyou althought you seem to hate me,
Althought you gaveup your future stead but i knw
You still love her.
You will not give up on her.
Maybe i think,
Or maybe i know you too well.
I wish to go back to th past that we first meet.